A book happens line by line, poem by poem, with no comma left unturned. For instance, in writing Here Go the Knives, it took me years to navigate the inner workings of many of the poems until I had reached a version that felt ready to share with others. A version I could esteem. Poetry has a slow way about it. Even when a draft comes quickly to completion, sharing, submitting, and finding a readership takes on its own life. Like a finely aged cheese or whisky the ingredients must be gathered and then given their space and time.

1. WRITING THE BOOK

There were many circumstances that came together that gave me the space to create my collection:

• The need to fill the strange pandemic isolation.

• A working computer along with functions like voice transcription and read aloud functions.

• Finding my trusted readers. Their support, along with continued dedication to writing workshops kept me in the practice of writing.

• The encouragement from friends and peers.

• Cultivating my writing space to invite creativity.

• The soul-need to share and be seen as a disabled person, knowing that I had this story to tell.

I believe those of us that are writing through trauma narratives understand the emotional toll of gathering up tender words. Words that must be processed through our fragile bodies, hearts and throats. I am proud of every poem in Here Go the Knives but there are some I perform rarely, with great care to protect my own heart from the pain I carry with me. But in making this book I was giving myself space to just be me.

2. GROUNDING MYSELF AS AN AUTHOR

I am lucky to have had some experience in self-publishing. In obtaining my B.A. at UCSC I learned many of the skills to self-publish from poet, print maker, and Professor Gary Young. Having to create a chapbook from scratch as well as my participation in campus literary magazines grounded me in many ways as an author. This background helped me to set my expectations for publication and what my role as a published poet could be.

Learning how to promote chapbooks on my own taught me many of the skills I would need to successfully launch a full-length book with a professional publisher. These are skills such as:

• Networking with other local poets, authors, creatives, and bookstores.

• Booking myself as the feature at local poetry readings.

• Creating hype for the book and then crafting a campaign to find a publisher.

• Understanding my needs. Especially that of needing a supportive publisher, one who respects my disability and limitations.

3. FINDING THE PUBLISHER

As I homed in on my manuscript I looked to the presses around me to see where the book might land. For me this is Moon Tide Press. I saw their support for fellow painling Jennifer Bradpiece and her chapbook, Lullabies for the End Times. In the months before my submission I attended as many Moon Tide events as I could. This is one way that life in the times of virtual readings really helped, as I gained access to readings all around the world which I could not otherwise attend.

Since I could not afford to buy all the books, attending events (virtually or in person) was a great way to get a better sense of the press’ aesthetic and their authors. In addition to participating in any of the open mics or attending readings, I also submitted to Moon Tide’s open calls so that the editors could become more familiar with my work. By the end of this campaign and the time put into finalizing my manuscript, I felt ready to start the submission process.

Fortunately for me Moon Tide Press also felt we were a good fit and now my book was in the publication process. Of course, this meant I still had a year before the book would go to print! This is another reason it is important to remember that poetry is a slow art. There is a lot to be done in that year to drum up support from the community and to get a plan in motion for post-publication.