The Poet I Fell in Love with This Year
For a long time, my interest in poetry was more aspirational than actual: I wanted to be the kind of person who was into poetry. But like many survivors of the public school system, my experience with poetry was limited to mostly dead white guys who wrote in flowery metaphors, allusions, and symbols that just didn’t speak to me.
Somehow I stumbled upon prose poetry and The Poetry Lab. Little did I know my understanding of poetry was about to crack wide open with possibilities.
During a chance Zoom meeting about writing, I received a long list of collections I should check out, specifically as someone: 1) newer to poetry, 2) used to narrative-style prose, and 3) unconvinced poetry and I would mesh well.
With a list of recommendations just for me, I decided to give poetry some real effort and determine once and for all if my interest would ever become something more than aspirational. I scoured the internet, looking for affordable copies to cast a wide net (shoutout to Thriftbooks.com!). One collection in particular caught my eye: Hot Teen Slut by Cristin O’Keefe Aptowicz.
Our First Encounter
The moral of my poetry book search? Titles really do matter. Once my books arrived, I picked up Hot Teen Slut first because, what a title! Super intriguing, surprisingly edgy. Not to mention, the cover has hot pink accents. Why not dive right in?
I worried for a long time that I didn’t know how to read poetry. Do I pause after each poem to reflect on what I had read and probe for deeper meaning? Do I inhale it like a novel or a memoir? How can I make sure I’m getting the most out of my reading?
To be honest, I’m still figuring out my process. But I now have it on good authority that it’s totally OK to read a poetry collection cover to cover in one sitting. You don’t have to pause in between each poem. Unless you want to, of course. You do you.
Reader, I sat down with Hot Teen Slut and didn’t get up until I read the last poem.
What made it so compellingly readable for me? It’s autobiographical! Our poet writes about her first job out of college: writing and editing for a porn site. Hella more interesting than my first job out of college, but she wrote about things I care about and relate to. It was about a young feminist’s first foray into the “real world.” After I finished, I sat back, mind blown, utterly amazed at what I had just read, utterly amazed that this is what poetry could be: approachable while also being poignant and thought-provoking.
That’s Cristin 👆
© 2014 Larry D. Moore
I immediately bought another collection of hers, The Year of No Mistakes, which details her move to Austin and the breakup of her long-term relationship. I love ATX! But the way she wrote about the different moments of a breakup rang so true.
After that, I bought the other five collections of poetry she’s published, as well as her nonfiction book, Words in Your Face: A Guided Tour Through Twenty Years of the New York City Poetry Slam.
After all of that reading (and raving to anyone who’ll listen) about Cristin O’Keefe Aptowicz, here are the things I believe make her writing so powerful—even for those hesitant about poetry initially.
4 THINGS I love about Cristin O’Keefe Aptowicz
1) She keeps it real
My third foray into her poetry was with her third collection, Working Class Represent, which is probably my favorite collection. This one is all about the life of a writer working a day job. She hits all of the highs and lows of office politics, being exhausted, but still hitting the page when she gets home. (I suck at this myself, but it is something to aspire to.) Following along as Aptowicz’s speaker integrates the poetic into the rest of her life proves a beautiful reminder that art can be found and created in the most seemingly uninspired places.
Contrary to the idea of poetry as inaccessible, some of her most striking poems for me are grounded in relatability. Take, for example, her poem “Ode to My Morning Cup of Coffee,” (which you can hear her perform here). The line “Life without you, coffee, wouldn’t be a life at all,” resonates deeply with me. Something about the way Aptowicz puts forth relatable truths—even the mundane truths of everyday life—is both captivating and comforting.
2) Amazing storytelling!
Each collection is woven around a moment or season of Aptowicz’s life. In this way, her poetry collections read very much like memoir. She provides the nuts and bolts of the story and guides the reader forward toward some kind of resolution or realization. And, like memoir, she offers the reader the richness of hindsight; the “so what?” and a deeper perspective that comes with time’s passage.
With such powerful story-telling, I don’t sit there and wonder how to read the collection or if I’m doing it right. I get sucked in, like I often do with other genres. Her narrative style allows me to sit down and just read.
I feel like I’m having a drink with an old friend who also happens to be an engaging and wise storyteller. And I’m finally getting caught up on the A-Z of what’s been going on in her life. I get the action, the memories, the connections, and the analysis.
3) Her voice
Reading Cristin O’Keefe Aptowicz’s poetry is like reading my own journal. She depicts the daily ups and downs of being a young female in the 21st century and packs an emotional punch while she’s at it.
And similar to the way a journal or diary catalogs a wide variety of someone’s moods, thoughts, and mindsets, Aptowicz’s voice feels like a living, changing thing throughout her work. By this, I mean her voice contains multitudes.
She can be funny, serious, deep, high-brow, low-brow, petty, caring, nostalgic, and all the other things. Instead of seeming overly polished for public consumption, her poetry acknowledges the myriad experiences of being human. People are complex, and her voice is dynamic in a way that’s honest about that.
4) Emotional punch
Aptowicz doesn’t hold back. The stories she’s sharing with her readers are personal, and she’s generous with how much she lets us in. She invites readers into her childhood, her first job, a move and a breakup, and the ups and downs of being a working poet.
But she invites us into more than just the big moments. She invites us into things she learned from moving, like taking the grills out of the toaster oven so you can store things inside.
She invites us into difficult feelings and experiences we may never have had ourselves, like the discomfort of living with an ex right after the breakup because rent is expensive. And she does this in a way that allows us to feel the overwhelm of moving and the loss of familiarity with a person. She takes us through the whole experience, guiding us through the gravity of a situation.
I’ll admit here that there is one collection I have yet to dip into—How to Love the Empty Air—her seventh collection, which is about the sudden loss of her mother. There are just certain kinds of heartache that I’m not quite prepared to subject myself to yet.
FINAL THOUGHTS
I still don’t understand line breaks. But after reading almost all of Cristin O’Keefe Aptowicz’s poetry, I no longer worry about whether poetry (in general) is for me. Poetry is for all of us. What matters is finding poets that speak to you.
Just like other forms of art and entertainment, there’s plenty of variety. Now that I’ve identified qualities of poetry I love, I’m planning to seek out more autobiographical poets, with a breadth of voice, who aren’t afraid to pack an emotional punch.
Aptowicz will always hold a special place in my heart for helping to realize that when it comes to poetry, it’s a big world out there. Give yourself a chance to try reading different styles and voices, and there’ll probably be one or two that speak to you.
This article was published on July 17, 2023. Written by:
